EXCERPT

I wasn’t alone—I heard a beating heart behind me. Not the soothing sound of mother’s blood, but a deep and ominous thudding. Doom-damn… Doom-damn… It continued with the cadence of hellish clockwork. Doom-damn… Doom-damn… My skin crawled, my stomach clenched. What was behind me? A man? A monster? I didn’t dare open my eyes, didn’t dare look back. It couldn’t be human. No man’s chest could contain such a heart. It grew louder and louder, becoming thunder in my head.
…..Doom-damn! Doom-damn!
….My breathing quickened, forcing me to suck in more of the foul air around me.
….What’s that stench? I wondered.
….I at last opened my eyes—slowly, fearfully. Holo-monitors illuminated the room, displaying ever-changing graphs and numerical data. It meant nothing to me. I looked down and found myself naked, floating in an anti-gravity field above a metal slab.
….Where the fuck am I? I thought. Why am I naked?
….The beating heart continued. Doom-damn! Doom-damn!
….“Stop! Please stop!” I screamed.
….It felt like my skull was cracking. What was behind me? I had to see. The truth would release me.
….I tilted my head back. Disbelief! Horror! My small hairs rose. It was a complex beast—half machine, half monster. A great blob of bio-mechanical flesh. Metallic nano-fibers interlaced the pale skin, causing electrostatic discharges that buzzed and sparked.
….The beast loomed above me, the height of the ceiling, like a giant animal—but not an animal, an abomination of flesh. It had no appendages and no head, only a great, moist sphincter that puckered mere inches from where I lay.
….“Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!”
….Escape! Fight! Run! I wanted to do all these things, but my body proved too heavy, too weak. ….My perceptions distorted. Was the beast growing larger or was I becoming smaller? My stomach heaved and my head spun. My thoughts clouded over and my brief journey into the conscious world ended.

….I again awoke, my head pierced by pain, my vision a jumble of blurred shapes and drab colors. My eyes focused. A face. A hideous face hovered above me. Two bulging eyes, stained the color of piss, inspected me.
….Who is this ugly fuck? I wondered.
….I felt the urge to fight. I lashed out, but the man pinned me down with surprising strength. I thrashed, kicked, screamed.
….“Let go of me, you bastard!”
….The man held my neck with one hand and produced a hypo-injector with the other. “This will calm you.”
….I felt the sting of the injection. My face went numb and my anxiety soothed. I looked around and discovered I was in a different place, no longer near that enormous beast. I was lying on a small cot. It felt soft and clumpy beneath me.
….I sat up on elbows. “Where am I?”
….“You’re in the sanitarium, where you belong,” replied the painfully close man.
….What’s he talking about? I thought. What sanitarium? Why do I belong here?
….From what I could see, I was in a room no more than two lengths of my body from wall to wall. It was lit by a dim node overhead. A single door with a magnetic lock gave passage to the room. It hung open. I heard the whisper of distant voices.
….I grabbed the man above me. “Who am I?”
….“You’re Theron Mobius.”
….“Theron Mobius?” The name was unfamiliar. “Who are you?”
….“I’m an orderly, here to take care of you. I attend to your hygiene, nutrition, and overall comfort.”
….“You’re an ugly fucker,” I said.
….“That’s not very nice, but I know you’re confused. Now, let me look you over.”
….The orderly began poking and pulling at me. I tried to fight him off.
….With two greasy fingers, the orderly spread my eyelids apart and peered inward. “Some people think the eyes are the path to the soul, and they’re mistaken, for it’s the brain itself that gives way to that mysterious entity lurking within each of us.”
….He spoke a command word and a glowing orb floating near his shoulder descended just above my forehead. It started scanning me with beams of energy. I could feel a searing heat on my face and then in my head as if it was melting my brain. I tried to bat it away, but my arms became heavy as the orb increased the gravity around my body. I felt like I weighed a thousand pounds.
….The orb spoke in a female voice, “There are no deviations across the quantum threshold. Atomic neural stability is holding. The fusion is optimal. The specimen is unique.”
….A wave of energy shot through my body. I flailed my arms and kicked my legs with an unnatural strength that defied the increased gravity. A lucky swing sent the orb crashing into the wall. It flashed and fizzled as it hit the ground and rolled under my cot. I kicked the orderly, sending him through the room’s doorway and onto his ass.
….“Something’s in my head!” I cried. “It claws at my skull! It wants out! It’s too great! My head’s too small!”
….The orderly stood up and signaled down the hall. He was soon joined by a man whose face was a gnarled mask of large features and pale, splotchy skin. He wore a fine black suit, perfectly tailored for his body.
….“Doctor,” said the orderly, “it appears Theron’s undergoing a more difficult acclimation than the others.”
….Something about the doctor caused a terrifying sensation within me. I didn’t know what it was, but I felt it in my stomach, my brain, and my heart. It was unbearable. I gazed into his eyes. They glowed with an unnatural green color as they looked down the length of a long bulbous-tipped nose.
….“My brain,” I whimpered. “Does it spill from my head?”
….The doctor worked my head between his palms. “This is fantastic. He’s more affected by the treatment than the others.”
….“He is,” agreed the orderly.
….“Take Theron back to the rehabilitation vesicle,” said the doctor. “He shows promise deserving of another treatment. I’ll be there momentarily.”
….“Release me!” I cried. “Please!”
….“You’re in need of another treatment,” replied the orderly. He clamped a silver ring around my chest and I floated up, limp and weightless.
….I was helpless as the orderly pushed me down a hallway of many doors. At that moment, my mind filled with strange words. I was compelled to speak them aloud, over and over: “A thread of thought, I forge in flesh, I cast it out into the light and await its return to cure the blight…”
….The orderly didn’t respond to my utterance and soon brought me to the end of the hallway where stood a large metal door protected by a force field. He performed an odd hand motion, causing the force field to dissipate and the door to open.
….We entered the chamber of the bio-mechanical creature I had previously encountered. The orderly placed me back in the anti-gravity field above the metal slab, near the beast’s great sphincter.
….Robotic insects crawled on the creature’s terrible flesh, repairing damaged nano-fibers and cauterizing open sores.
….“Lie still until the doctor arrives.”
….I could only repeat those words that filled my head: “A thread of thought, I forge in flesh, I cast it out into the light and await its return to cure the blight…”

….When the doctor finally entered the room, my mental fit subsided. “Who are you? What are you doing to me?      Why are you torturing me?”
The doctor placed his hand on my chest, at my heart. “We’re going to help you rise from the depths of insanity, Theron. You must trust us.”
….“I’m scared.”
….“You shouldn’t be,” replied the doctor.
….“What is that thing?” I tilted my head back and recoiled from the sphincter trembling behind me. “Take me away from this abomination! Please!”
….“I cannot, my son.” The doctor turned to the orderly. “Hold him in place for insertion.”
….“Insertion?” My jaw dropped. “What do you mean ‘insertion’?”
….The doctor closed his eyes and remained still as a tendril of glowing nano-fibers emerged from just above the sphincter of the bizarre creature. It stretched out toward the doctor’s forehead, where it broke the flesh and pushed inward, joining the doctor to the creature.
….“What the fuck!” I screamed.
….The great sphincter above me puckered and swelled. Ten of the robotic insects gathered at the perimeter of the sphincter and deployed tiny tractor beams on my body, pulling me in.
….“Stop! Please, stop! Fucking hell! No!”
….My resistance was useless. My entire body was ingested by the beast.
….An unlikely calmness ran through me.
….My God, where am I?
….Instead of finding myself in the vile innards of the creature, I found myself floating in an expanse of pure light. The bio-mechanical skin of the creature encased another realm. The light surrounding me rippled and stirred in such a way that it seemed alive, or at the very least was something more than just light.
….I was mesmerized as a sparkling silver-white wisp caressed my cheek. It was soon joined by another, and then another, until a multitude of glowing wisps constricted down upon me. I felt the wisps of light penetrating my body, creeping into the core of my being.

I opened my eyes. I was slumped in a comfortable chair in a large room. A dozen unkempt and sickly-looking people sat around me. They wore identical green outfits. I suspected they too were patients of the sanitarium. Some sat unconscious, while others spoke in low, weary voices.
….Four white orbs hovered at the ceiling. I watched as one descended upon a male patient and scanned him against his will. He tried to resist, but another descended and placed him in a gravity restraint.
….This place is a nightmare, I thought.
….Then I saw her. She was beautiful. She returned my gaze, smiled, and then approached. She had blonde hair, a spare frame, and large blue eyes. I didn’t know what to say.
….“Hi… I mean… hello.”
….“I’m glad you’re awake, Theron.” Her voice was soft and soothing.
….I paused awkwardly. “Who are you?”
….“I’m Mage. I kept you company while you slept and stimulated your mind with conversation, though it was I who did all the talking.”
….“Thank you,” I said. “Are you an orderly?”
….She laughed. “I’m like you, Theron.”
….“You’re a patient?” I said in surprise.
….“I am.”
….“You’re too pretty to be—” I winced.
….“To be what? Crazy?” Mage smiled, and then touched my face in a caring gesture. “Are you feeling better?”
….Her touch comforted me. “I am now. How long have I been asleep?”
….“Many days.”
….Before I could ask more questions, a young man with darting eyes and a thin face approached. “She’s been fawning over your catatonic body the entire time.”
….“Ridiculous, Sensimion,” said Mage. “I merely kept Theron comfortable since the orderlies neglected him. They’re only concerned with changing his soiled clothes and forcing food down his throat with a tube.”
….Sensimion pointed to other individuals slumped around the room. “There are many needy invalids in this shit-hole. Why was Theron the only one deserving of your special treatment?”
….Mage raised her nose. “Enough of your jealousy, Sensimion.”
….I grabbed Mage’s hand in an attempt to capture her full attention. I looked around the room neurotically. “I’ve been molested in horrible ways!”
….Sensimion laughed. “He’s talking about the sphincter beast.”
….“Must you call it that? It’s such a disgusting name.”
….“A disgusting name for a disgusting beast,” replied Sensimion.
….Mage brushed my hair from my forehead. “Theron, don’t worry about the rehabilitation vesicle. It’s merely a device to help us become well.”
….Sensimion leaned forward secretively. “This is what the doctor and orderlies tell us, but I believe its true purpose to be something much more malevolent.”
….Mage shook her head. “Don’t listen to Sensimion. He’s a paranoid mess.”
….“I don’t understand,” I said. “Why can’t I remember my life before this place?”
….“It’s the nature of the process,” said Mage. “We’re all here to be treated for mental illness, and by erasing our memories when we arrive, we start fresh. There are no past experiences left to corrupt our sanity. The rehabilitation vesicle is then used to reshape our minds, removing any predisposition for deviant thought. After a treatment, the mind is overwhelmed and the patient goes into a catatonic state.”
….“Am I now cured?” I asked. “Will I be allowed to leave soon?”
….“Not a chance,” said Sensimion. “Like all of us, you’ll continue your treatments in the sphincter beast, unless you can find a way past the main portal of this madhouse and escape.” ….Sensimion indicated a large archway at the other side of the room. “As you can see, the archway generates a force field. It can discriminate the DNA of a person and allow only authorized people to pass through.”
….“And what lies beyond the threshold of the archway?”
….“The doctor has told us the sanitarium’s hidden within the vacant sublevels of a MegaCity, away from any people who may find such a facility compromising to their communities.”
….I felt a chill when Sensimion mentioned the doctor. “There’s something unnatural about the doctor. I don’t know what it is, but an unsettling aura surrounds him. His presence is oppressive on the mind. Do you sense this also?”
….Sensimion tapped at his temple. “He’s an overbearing man forcing his strange medicine on us. As far as sensing some kind of oppressive aura from his person, I don’t. Nonetheless, your conviction seems genuine. I’ll pay more attention the next time he carries his ugly fucking head into my presence.”
….“I’ve had no such feelings,” said Mage. “It’s probably just your weakened mind playing tricks on you, Theron.”
….“Maybe,” I said. I heard a loud computer tone. “What’s that?”
….“That’s the signal for us to return to our sleeping quarters,” said Sensimion.
….Mage kissed me on the cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep well.”
….I’ll never sleep well in this place, I thought.

….Weeks passed. I became sluggish from a routine of eating and sleeping. My only pleasure came from conversations with Sensimion and Mage in the congregation room. At night, I pushed my thoughts inward, desperately searching for any surviving memories of my life before the sanitarium. It’s a scary thing not knowing who you are, or where you’re from. What did I do to belong here? Was I a criminal? A lunatic? Who was Theron Mobius?
….One late night in bed, I felt a neuron ignite and a memory was found.
….I was awake all night, overwhelmed by the memories that began crowding my mind. I sat on the floor, huddled in a corner, facing the wall. Slowly, I rocked, back and forth while repeating, ….“One atop another, they pile upon each other…” I laughed hysterically as my mind spun and my senses flared. The void was filling. I felt elation from the genesis unfolding in my mind.
….I heard Mage’s voice: “What’s the matter, Theron? I heard you screaming.”
….“Ha! You’re mistaken. I was laughing.”
….“At what? Why do you sit in the corner? What are you looking at?”
….“The lies and the lives… and the lives and the lies.”
….“What lies?”
….“The lives! I cradle them all. Some are big and some are small. Do you wish to see them?”
….“Yes,” said Mage. “Show me what you have.”
….“I have them all—one, two, three, four… six… twelve… twenty-four.”
….“You’re scaring me, Theron. Turn around. What are you cradling?”
….“The blood of them all.” I turned, allowing Mage to see the truth that I held. My left forearm was covered in a layer of blood.
….“What have you done, Theron?”
….“Forgive me, it’s not the blood. It’s what lies beneath.” With my right hand, I rubbed away as much blood as possible, revealing a series of symbols I had gouged into my arm with a shard of the broken orb. “Don’t you see? It all makes sense now.”
….“Let me help you, Theron.” Mage tore off a piece of her shirt and knelt beside me, trying to tend to the series of bleeding symbols.
….“No!” I cried. I began pointing from one symbol to the next, explaining each in turn. “This one’s the horrors of war, and this one’s the gift of life. Here love was found… and there it was lost. In this one… beautiful faces… but here death erases. I’m a healer in this one… but a monster in that one. So many experiences, so many places. I’m every man, from every land.”
….Stuttering sounds heaved up from my stomach. I no longer knew if I was laughing or crying. ….A brightness filled my vision and I frantically looked to Mage, trying to hang on to her image.

I woke up on my cot. Mage was gone. She had wrapped my arm in a strip of her shirt. I turned an ear to the door. Silence. Stillness.
….It must be night, I thought. The door’s closed. The light’s low. Sleep. Go back to sleep before the memories return.
….I closed my eyes and lay in the dark. Instead of finding sleep, I found that oppressive sensation I’d felt before. When I opened my eyes, I saw the doctor standing above me with a perverse grin on his face.
….“How did you get in here!” I cried. “I didn’t hear the magnetic lock release or the door open. ….What do you want?”
….“I want to make sure you’re feeling well,” replied the doctor. “You’re a special patient, ….Theron, and I’m confident you’ll soon be cured.”
….“Actually—” I held my tongue. It would’ve been a mistake to tell him about the memories. If I concerned the doctor, I might extend my stay in the sanitarium forever, enduring the inner mysteries of the sphincter beast over and over again. “Actually… I feel fine. Now, I’d like to go to sleep.”
….I rolled on my side and stared at the wall, hoping for the doctor to leave. When there was no indication of his departure, I prepared to voice my anger for the interruption to my sleep, but when I turned, the doctor was gone.
….The following day, I was eager to tell Mage of my strange visit in the middle of the night. I went to her quarters and then to the congregation room, but she was nowhere to be found.
….I confronted Sensimion. “Where’s Mage?”
….“During the night, I heard her being taken to the sphincter beast for treatment. They’re usually finished by morning, but it seems they’re taking longer than usual.”
….Half the day had passed when Mage was finally brought to the congregation room by an orderly. He dropped her body into a chair and then left the room.
….I held her hand. “Mage? Are you all right? Can you hear me?”
….She was unresponsive, staring blankly through half-mast eyelids.
….I gasped in horror. One of the sphincter beast’s robotic insects clung to the side of her head. I tried to pull it off, but its barbed metal legs were embedded under her skin. It buzzed and clicked while moving in an up and down motion.
….“What the fuck is it doing to you! I’m here, my friend. Wake up.” I continued trying to wake her, but her conscious mind was beyond my reach.
….Sensimion approached. “Like Mage told you, this catatonic state is a normal reaction to the treatment. Don’t worry about her.”
….“Don’t worry? What about this robotic bug?”
….“It’s a therapeutic process to help heal her mind. She’ll snap out of it soon enough.”
….I was no less concerned for her. I adjusted her body so she sat with a more dignified posture..I fixed her hair, brushing it back with a gentle hand.
….“What are you doing?” asked Sensimion.
….“I’m doing what she did for me when I was in this condition.”
….“Do as you like,” huffed Sensimion. “However, when it’s I who sit in a helpless stupor, with twisted limbs and tangled hair, I’d prefer not to be stroked and squeezed like a sick puppy.”
….“I’ll try to keep my hands off you, Sensimion.”
….“As you should!” Sensimion walked to the main portal, where he tampered with the archway by jamming a fork into a seam of its frame.
….I continued sitting with Mage, until I decided she wasn’t comfortable. I gently lifted her from the chair and carried her back to her sleeping quarters. I carefully placed her on the cot. She truly was beautiful.
….“I’ll keep you company, Mage. I’ll keep you safe.”
….I placed my face next to her lips and felt her warm breath on my cheek. I rested my head on her chest and listened to her heartbeat. I sat patiently with her, and eventually I slipped into deep thought, staring forth, as if entranced.
….Hours later, Sensimion entered Mage’s quarters and jolted me. “What’s wrong with you, Theron?”
….I gazed intensely at him. “Memories have been surfacing in my mind over the past few weeks. But they’re unfamiliar, as though I’m remembering the memories of other men.”
….Sensimion’s eyes widened. “What happens in these memories?”
….“So many things. They’re not memories of my life before this place. Of this I’m certain. It’s as though I have the memories of many different lives tangled in my head. The people and scenery of each set of memories are so distinctly different from the next, it’s like each set of memories takes place in a different age of history.” I shook my head in confusion. “Could I be remembering past lives I’ve lived? Impossible! Ridiculous!”
….“Reincarnation?” Sensimion swung a paranoid look to the door. “Don’t let the orderlies hear about this. We must keep this to ourselves. These memories may be a clue as to what’s really going on in this place. We must investigate further.”
….“How?” I asked. “I can’t make sense of any of these memories. I know nothing about history or the world beyond the walls of this sanitarium.”
….“We do have resources, Theron. Follow me.” Sensimion led me out of Mage’s quarters and back to the congregation room, where he pointed to a table with an inlaid view-panel. “We’re allowed access to the library. It contains everything about the world above. Use it to make sense of the memories. Try to identify any names or places you can recall.”
….“This seems impossible. If they are memories of past lives, it could take a lifetime to sort through the details of history.”
….“Then I suggest you start immediately, Theron.”
….I touched the empty seat beside me. “Not until Mage is better.”

Once Mage woke up, I began my investigation. I spent the better part of the next month studying human history. I discovered many correlations between my strange memories and the reality of the past.
….I informed Sensimion and Mage. “It’s like there’s a seepage of the past welling up in my mind. I possess the memories of many people, spanning back to the beginning of recorded history, and possibly further. I’m uncertain how these memories can be.”
….Maybe I am insane, I thought.
….Sensimion’s mouth hung open. “Whose memories are they? What are the connections between these people, if any? Could it be reincarnation, as you suggested earlier?”
….“It’s not reincarnation, since some of the people lived at the same time. There is, however, a similarity shared by many of the people. Most were a part of some significant turning point in human history.” I brought up the image of a man on the view-panel. “Seven hundred years ago, this man perfected the process of cold fusion. It’s odd, for I can recall the moments leading to his breakthrough and the days following. But that’s all. I know nothing else of this man, his thoughts, or the life he led.”
….I displayed another portrait. “This man, in the mid-twentieth century, helped develop the integrated circuit, which gave rise to the computer age.” Another portrait was displayed. “And this man, who lived during the twelfth and thirteenth centuries, was a great leader who founded the Mongol Empire. My memories of his life are much more extensive.” And another. “This man was a religious icon whose teachings were the inspiration for a religion called Christianity. I have the memories of the last few years of his life.”
….“Who else?” asked Sensimion eagerly.
….“I’ve made a list of names on this scrap of paper.”
….“Be careful!” Sensimion snatched away the paper and tucked it into his pocket. “We can’t let the doctor know about this. There’s something unethical going on in this place, and we’re swimming through the thick of it.”
….“I think you’re right, Sensimion.” I surveyed the patients in the congregation room. “Why doesn’t anyone get visitors? Someone must have loved ones worried about them.”
….Mage, who had been listening on in silence, spoke up. “The two of you are feeding on each other’s delusions. Please, Theron, stop talking about these strange memories.”
….“I can’t ignore what’s inside me.”
….“You must, or the doctor will never release you. If we get well soon, we can be together on the outside.”
….“We will be,” I said. “I promise you, Mage.”
….She placed her hand on my chest. “Then stop this, Theron.”
….I displayed another image on the view-panel. “Just look at the things I’m remembering. How is it possible?”
….“It’s not possible.” Tears filled her eyes.
….“I’m sorry, Mage. Please, don’t cry.” I watched sadly as she departed. I wished she believed me, for I felt a strong bond with her. I wanted to share everything with her.
….Don’t you know how much I care for you?
….“She’ll get over it,” said Sensimion. “Now, what are we going to do?”
….I sighed. “The answers are with the doctor. We need to see what happens in the chamber of the sphincter beast while someone’s undergoing treatment.”
….“I agree,” said Sensimion, “but it won’t be easy. The security door is state of the art. And even if we could bypass it, the doctor and orderlies spend nearly all their time in that room, making it impossible to enter undetected. And don’t forget we’re locked in our sleeping quarters at night, when patients are treated.”
….“Don’t worry, Sensimion. I have a plan. It doesn’t require us to breach the door or enter the room. Remember, we only need to see inside.” I didn’t elaborate further, since two orderlies entered the congregation room to deliver lunch.
….An orderly served me a plate of the usual synthetic slop. I spoke to him like a madman. “Orderly! My sleeping quarters are unfit! The shit and piss of a thousand men have been deposited within. I fear that this human excrement might rise from the cracks in the floor and envelop me.” I banged my face on the table, causing my eyes to tear and my nose to bleed. “I haven’t slept in days. How can I get well without sleep? I demand a room with more comfort and less stench!”
….The orderly grunted in annoyance. “You can relocate to the sleeping quarters next to your current quarters. They’re empty.”
….“Unacceptable!” I exclaimed. “That one’s filthy, too. The only clean quarters are at the end of the hall, next to the chamber of the rehabilitation vesicle.”
….The orderly slid a feeding tube down the throat of a catatonic patient sitting near me. “Fine. I’ll unlock it after lunch. Now, eat your meal.”
….Satisfied, I ate my shitty meal with a smile.
….When the orderlies finally left the congregation room, I informed Sensimion. “My plan is unfolding perfectly.      When I’m relocated to the sleeping quarters next to the chamber of the sphincter beast, I’ll begin drilling a small peephole through the common wall.” I nodded my head with delight. “It couldn’t be simpler.”
….“Where will you find a drill?”
….“The walls of this place are crumbling. I won’t need a powerful tool. The broken medical orb left beneath my cot contains a micro scalpel. I can modify it into a pulse drill. It’ll probably take a long time with such a weak tool, but time is what we have in this prison.”
….“How do you know about such technology?”
….“I know things now. The memories have given me experiences and knowledge of many things. I’m more than I was before.”

That night, I smuggled the medical orb into my new sleeping quarters and began. I pried open a side panel of the orb and revealed its complicated inner workings. They were so familiar. I looked to the memories that crowded my mind and found the memories of a woman. She was an engineer who designed such robots. I recognized one of six power-nodes and removed it carefully, insulating my fingers with some fabric from my shirt. I located the micro scalpel and followed the circuitry to its control chip. This was all I needed. I disconnected the scalpel and control chip and left the rest behind.
….How can I know these things? I wondered, somewhat afraid of myself.
….I coupled the power-node to the micro scalpel and began strategically shorting circuitry pathways. When finished, I held my breath for a moment and then used a piece of metal to temporarily bridge two circuits. The micro scalpel shot forth a pulsing beam that made me smile. For some reason, it was the happiest I’d been in the sanitarium.

~END SAMPLE~

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Theron is driven against all odds to stop the entity, only to discover he’s an integral part of the entity’s sinister plan. Together with a small group of travelers, he must journey across galaxies in search of an ancient Guardian of the universe.

If he fails, humankind will face oblivion.